I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
So many bounce houses so little time
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
