I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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