I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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