Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
