So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
