She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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