Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Randomize
