Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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