I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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