We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
did you just send me my own nude
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
