The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I could have mohawked her pubes.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
