Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
