I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
