it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
In other news, I just burned my penis
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
