You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
this just has baby written all over it
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
