How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
