i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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