My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
