Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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