i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
