What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
