Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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