you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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