put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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