If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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