I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
