normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
