So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
