I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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