We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
