Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
