Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
