like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
