Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
i think im in europe. pls send help
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
