He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
