You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
