I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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