Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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