Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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