No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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