I could have mohawked her pubes.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
