Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Randomize
