Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
