Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
