I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
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