Me. At least after what I've been through.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
