I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
