Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
