So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
