I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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