Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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