Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
