Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
